Hold Up

Seabiscuit

Today we are racing back to 2003 to the exciting world of horse racing and oceanic snacks with Seabiscuit as we wrap up animal sidekick (almost) month. Gary Ross wrote and directed this Hollywood epic about an unlikely champion racing horse and his team of mismatched handlers and how they captured America’s hearts and gave them hope…it was a long time ago before influencers. Anywho, this little bastard is fast, but the movie is not, as we have a deep and thorough look at the time and place through each of our hero’s stories. It made a bunch of money, was nominated for a pile of awards, and features goddamn Jeff Bridges, Chris Cooper, and a ginger Toby! But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss why size matters and how long is too long as we try to figure out if Seabiscuit is the champ or dog food.  

Turner and Hooch

For our second animal sidekick movie, we are rolling over to another buddy cop movie minus one Belush, add Tom Hanks and a different pooch, and you’ve got Turner and Hooch. This flick takes off after an old friend of Turner’s is killed, and he takes his giant mess of a dog to avoid it being put down. Then, T&H work together on solving the crime, and maybe they get laid a little, but they are at odds because one is a neat freak and the other a drooling slob, and then they do or don’t solve a crime. This movie got mixed reviews but hit big at the box office and was the inspiration for 1 (soon to be 2) cancelled TV shows. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate bitches and peanut butter kisses as we see if Turner and Hooch need to be put down or stuffed.

K-9 (1989)

Welcome back suckers! This week we kick off animal sidekick month, albeit a little late, with K-9. “What’s that?” you think to yourself, “a dog, cop movie or something?”. Good guess genius, that’s exactly what it is, a buddy cop dog flick starring none other than the Belush himself. Not that Belush, the other Belush. Anywho, this thing stars James Belushi, Ed O’Neill, Mel Harris, and Jerry Lee the loveable pup who has a thing for poodle pussy. This thing didn’t win any accolades and likely isn’t in many top 10 lists or archives but it is a dog movie and that’s all we claimed when we did this. So…does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate peanut butter bribes and the best way to get tail as we do our best to figure out if this flick is a good boi or a K-nein!

Chinatown

In 1974 the well-known child rapist, Roman Polanski, released what is widely thought to be a perfect movie, a one-hundred percenter, a hold-up if you will. But today we put this supposed masterpiece to the test as we go down to Chinatown! Chinatown features a young Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway in this detective noir story which leads through a standard entry but ends in a wild, secret exit full of sadness and despair, or maybe not? I don’t know, you gotta watch this fucking thing. It won awards at the Oscars and is on every list of best movies. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss close families and being raised by your pa-grandpa as we try to determine if Chinatown makes us China frown.

The French Connection

In 1971, the world was introduced to a different kind of Popeye, one that likes killing cops and robbers more than eating spinach, in William Friedkin's The French Connection. Starring Gene Hackman Fernando Rey, and Roy Scheider, La Connexion Française tells the story of two New York Cops, Popeye and Cloudy, who will do whatever it takes to find, follow, and kill bad guys. And these upstanding law enforcers don't let minor challenges like entrapment, police brutality, racism, and lack of evidence get in their way. No, these men are real NY cops, so they'll follow you for days because you look like a [racist expletive deleted], or barge into a bar for [racist expletive deleted] and lock patrons in phone booths until they get the info they need. Oh, and there's a guy from Marseille (that's in France dummy, thus the name of the movie) who wants to sell $36M of heroin and decides the best way to do it is through a young couple who aren't really connected. Made for $1.8M, TFC pulled in $75M worldwide and was nominated for 8 Academy Awards and won 5. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss the origins of buddy cop movie cliches, if it is a good idea to end a movie in the middle of a climax, and how much driving and walking to destinations is appropriate for a 104-minute movie as we see if this flick is c'est bon, or shittier than a racist, back shooting, cop killing, asshole named Popeye.

Fearless (1993)

In 1993 a strange thing happened—a dirty and unkempt Jeff Bridges or “The Dude” wandered out of a smoking cornfield with a baby and towing a small boy behind him. Confused? That’s because it’s the opening of the Peter Weir directed movie FEARLESS. Bridges plays Max Klein, a man who survives a plane crash and starts to believe he’s invincible. He ponders if he’s dead or a ghost and occasional walks into traffic, takes walks on skyscraper ledges and does some highly questionable things behind the wheel of his 92 Volvo . Naturally his wife Laura (Isabella Rossellini) is upset and confused by his erratic behaviour and makes it all about her. Not cool. Max also finds friendship in Carla, (Rosie Perez) another survivor who lost her baby, affectionately known as Bubble, in the plane crash. Together. Max and Carla try to figure out how to cope with survival guilt and buying Christmas Presents for the dead in hopes they can get back to the land of the living. The movie gets a 85% on Rotten Tomatoes and Jeff Bridges considers it to one of the favourite films in which he’s appeared…but does it Hold Up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss if by the end Jeff Bridges gets out alive OR did the plane crash opening mark this flick as dead on arrival?

Kill Bill Vol. 1

In 2003 Tarantino brought us his two-part revenge story, Kill Bill, and this review is for Vol. 1. Kill Bill is about a scorned lover who is trying to work her way through various levels in her attempt to reach the final boss, the titled Bill. Uma Thurman stars alongside Lucy Liu, Michael Madsen, Daryl Hannah, Vivica A. Fox, and David Carradine in this thrill kill ride that was Tarantino’s long-awaited follow-up to the excellent Jackie Brown. Does it hold up? Will the bride kill Bill? Will it be a thrill? Will I take this pill? Will Bill kill the Bill killer before the Bill killer can kill Bill? Does he prefer William? Some of these questions might be answered as we figure out if this flick is a killer or should be killed.

Porky’s

Bob Clark of Black Christmas fame surprised everyone with his 1981 silly sexy comedy, Porky’s. What’s Porky’s about you ask? Surely it’s about a clever pig who is a single mother, fighting for survival in a brutal factory farming hellscape. Nope, high school kids trying to get laid but in the attempt, they find themselves in a war with a local pimp, Porky. Porky’s became an instant classic and long held the title of top-grossing Canadian film, as if size matters... But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate pork, pimps and penises and all the things this flick shows as we try to figure out if Porky’s pops our cherry or our hopes.

Whoops - Episode Missing

In 2023, the Hold Up team ran into technical issues, and what was supposed to be an amazing Kill Bill Vol. 1 Episode turned into a bad explanation of why this episode isn't here. A corrupted file, coupled with unavailability due to vacation, means that we have to wait two weeks to fix the first half of Quentin Tarantino's revenge classic. But does it hold up? Well, you'll need to wait to see if it does, have you not listened to our show before? Until then, listen in on this short explanation as Jon apologizes and tries to make light of a shitty situation and see if our audience is won over by our honesty or if this trio of podcasters can eat a dick for not getting it right the first time and making everyone wait.

Erin Brockovich

The people scored a win at the dawn of the new millennium when Steven Soderbergh and Julia Roberts took down a chemical giant in the true story retelling of Erin Brockovich. This story brings Roberts' into the title role as a single mother with no real job prospects fighting to make a life for herself and her kids when she fights her way into a position with a law office and stumbles upon a case that will change everyone’s lives. This flick became an instant classic, bringing big profits at the box office and getting nominated for multiple awards. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate corporate greed and sexy lawyers as we determine if the hold-up court rules in favour or against Erin Brockovich.