Hold Up

The Empire Strikes Back

In 1980, angsty teen Luke Skywalker was the first in a long line to stand up to authoritarian parental figures and clearly state “You’re not my father” in the second (or fourth) movie in the Star Wars Saga, The Empire Strikes Back. This space adventure follows up to the wildly successful A New Hope film as deadbeat dad Darth “Noooooooo” Vader scours the galaxy for his estranged son with the hope of turning his boy to the dark side and destroying the rebellion in one swift swoop. But Luke will not be easily swayed, and with the help of his team of freaks and geeks like his smoochy sister Leia, the OG scoundrel Hans, the Wookie who loves Nookie Chewy, a pathological liar turned friendly ghost Ben, an aged little green back-talking Jedi master Yoda, and the neurotic butler super complaining dynamic duo of CR3PD2DO, this team of outcasts will fight tooth and robotic nail to stop the Empire from conquering the galaxy.  Made for $18M, Empire brought in $538M in the box office, making it one of the most successful sequels ever.  But does it hold up?  Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent check their midichlorian counts and see if they can withstand the barrage of bad transitions and mono-climate planets to fight off the empire and avoid strangulation over webchat with Vader, or if the Emperor’s will is too strong to fight and the boys give in to hatred and succumb to the dark side of the force, destined to eat the shit of a wrinkly faced man and his depressed child abandoning cyborg.

The Shining

The year is 1980 and Shelly Duvall has just emerged from her burrow.  Later in the year, she will star in Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining with Jack Nicholson, and the Scatman…bee-do be-dum bop.  Jack and Shelly star as, Jack and Wendy, a married couple who, along with their son Danny and his finger person Tony, have decided to become the new caretakers for a remote mountain resort that shuts down for the winter.  Jack is hoping the isolation will give him the opportunity to focus on his book. Wendy and their son Danny just hope time will pass quickly.  However, things aren’t as they seem and the hotel turns out to have a haunted influence with murderous intent. An adaptation of Stephen King’s novel, the film was made for $19 million, brought in $44 million at the box office, and became one of the most influential horror movies of all time.  But does it hold up?  Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent talk about hotels, the dangers of hard work, and useless superpowers to see if this movie still shines or if it has tarnished like Shelley Duvall’s career. 

Tremors

In 1990 Director Ron Underwood thrust a terrifying new reality to the world, Graboids! More specifically, the Tremors franchise.  Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward star as Val and Earl, a couple very small-town guys who seem to do all the labour jobs for a small town with a population of 14, Perfection.  But this little community ends up being anything but perfect, and our two heterosexual life mates decide to depart for greener pastures.  Just as they’re trying to leave town, bad things start happening and their big dreams are reduced to mere survival as giant beaky worm monsters appear and start to kill whatever they can get their little snaky tongues on.  Made for $11M, this small budget comedy horror flick brought home a modest $16M in theatres and then ended up becoming a huge cult classic, tripling the theatrical release in the rental and home sales markets.  But, does it hold-up?  Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent talk Graboids and Kevin Bacon’s seagull hair and see if this movie is perfection itself, or if it should have been consumed by tusky multi-tongued cock monsters.

Romancing the Stone

 In 1984 Robert Zemeckis was fired from a pending project for directing Romancing the Stone, a generic brand Raiders of the Lost Ark.  Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner star as Jack and Joan.  Joan is a neurotic romance novelist forced out of her comfort zone when she’s forced to travel to Columbia to deliver a treasure map to kidnappers that have taken her sister and killed her brother-in-law.  Joan takes a wrong turn and ends up hiring Jack, an exotic bird smuggler, to guide her safely to her destination, but things continue to go wrong and yadda yadda yadda…hijinx ensues and they fall in love.  Despite the studio predicting this movie to be a flop, the film brought home an $86 million payday and critical acclaim from a $10 million dollar budget. But does it hold up?  Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent see if this jungle journey is worthy of a Lara Croft or Indiana Jones, or if Zolo and DeVito’s cavern of secrets is too much to handle, wearing the shine off the famed stone.  

The Lost Boys

The year is 1987 and director Joel Schumacher has just released Lost Boys, a movie about what happens if a town has a serious murder problem but no one cares enough to look into it. This movie is a virtual genre fuck fest - mixing comedy, horror, and teen stylings, to create a movie which is almost certainly the first of its kind. Starring Jason Patric and Corey Haim as two brothers who move with their mother to a bustling little Californian resort town only to discover that not only is it the murder capital but the murders are due to the town being plagued with a bunch of super edgy vampires. Made for $8 million, Lost Boys opened at #2, brought home a box office of $32 million, and for many became an instant classic. So, grab your holy water and garlic and listen while Jon, Colin, and Brent find out whether this movie holds up or sucks…your blood. 

Knocked Up

In 2007 Judd Apatow gave us Knocked Up following the smash hit 40 Year Old Virgin.  Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl are Ben and Alison, an unlikely couple that is forced together after a night of drunken, unprotected sex, that results in Alison getting…knocked up. Hijinx ensues as this odd couple decides to take a shot at a relationship after Alison states that she’s going to keep the baby.  The two worlds are juxtaposed under the setting of Alison’s sister’s struggling marriage, Ben and his loser stoner buddies who spend their days tracking nudity on film, and Alison who just got a promotion to her dream job on E! and is living in her sister’s pool house. Made for $30 million, Knocked Up brought home critical acclaim and a Box Office of $219 million, but does it hold up?  Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent navigate parenthood and uncomfortable relationships while they revisit this movie and see if this one should have been kept or aborted.

Collateral

In 2004, Michael Mann brought us the worst buddy comedy of all time, but a pretty successful action thriller, Collateral. Led by solid performances from the silver fox and rarely villainous Tom Cruise, and rarely subdued every man Jamie Foxx, Collateral was initially praised by critics and fans alike for its gorgeous representation of Los Angeles at night. Made for $65M, Max and Vincent brought in $217M and Jamie Foxx’s portrayal of cab driver Max earned him an Oscar nomination. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent hail a cab to catch this movie and see if they can survive the wild ride with Vincent thanks to Max and his quick thinking, or if the boys say the wrong thing at the wrong time in the wrong movie, and last words they ever hear are “Yo homie. That my briefcase?”

The 40 Year-Old Virgin

In 2005, the world received the gift of Judd Apatow’s directorial debut with The 40 Year-Old Virgin.  Co-written by and starring Steve Carell, this unique take on the “still a virgin” story moved away from the typical high school hijinx and instead centred around a 40-year-old electronics store employee who loves collectable action figures. Catherine Keener co-stars as Carell’s best option to get laid for the first time, and we also see some of the typical Apatow crowd of Paul Rudd, Seth Rogan, Jonah Hill, and Leslie Mann.  Made for $26M, this sex comedy raked in $177M at the box office and was received very well by critics, proving to be an amazing launching pad for both Carell’s and Apatow’s movie careers.  But does it hold up?  Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent consider the life as sexless 40 somethings and see if they take the necessary steps to see that sex, love, and marriage are worth sticking around for, or if they should take their toy collections and go back to a sexless life full of awkward encounters and comedy clichés.

The Silence of the Lambs

In 1991, Ted Tally adapted the Thomas Harris novel The Silence of the Lambs, and the world was never the same again. A rare Oscar-winning horror film, Silence stars Jodie Foster as Clarice Starline, Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter, with Ted Levine and Scott Glenn supporting as Buffalo Bill and Jack Crawford respectively. Equal parts thrilling, creepy, and satisfying, audiences and critics alike were impressed with this hard-hitting movie, and they continue to be as Silence of the Lambs continues to be considered one of the most influential films of all time. Made for $19M, Hannibal the Cannibal went on to rake in $272M at the box office and swept the big five categories at the Oscars. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent revisit the asylum and see if Hannibal has the same impact on their souls after nearly 30 years, chilling them to the bone as they are unable to look away, or if they fall prey to a sadistic woman suit maker who wants to do himself so hard while the boys put the lotion in the basket.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective

In 1994, Jim Carrey stormed the big screen with his unforgettable and over the top portrayal of Ace Ventura: Pet Detective. Carrey's use of physical comedy took the world by storm, and while he has contempt for 99% of the humans he encounters in his adventures (Courtney Cox is the exception here), he still manages to come off as a likable and confident lead who champions the cause of his furry and feathered friends. Made for $15M, Ace went on to bring in $107M in the box office, and contributed to Carrey's explosive success along with his other 1994 hits Dumb and Dumber and The Mask. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin and Brent do some detecting of their own and see if Ace can solve the case of the 25 year old comedy that is trying to hard to remain funny and relevant, or if the combination of Finkle, Einhorn, tucks, bulges, and Dan Marino are too much trouble to deal with, causing this case to go unsolved to our hosts dismay.