Hold Up

Snatch

In the year two thousand there was a guy named Guy who made a movie that snatched our attention called Snatch. Coincidence? I think not… This was the movie that really birthed Jason Statham’s career and gave the world one of Brad Pitt’s most beloved characters, Mickey, in addition to like 30 more characters for you to fall in love with too. Snatch snatched $85 million quid(?) from Mr. Ritchie’s initial $10 million budget, found a large cult following, and was good enough that they let him make some absolute garbage following this release. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent look for ze-Germans in the London underground as we try to see if this movie proper fucks or if it has replica written all over it.

October Sky

Just before the new millennium, Joe Johnston brought a young Jake Gyllenhaal to the screen with October Sky. Coming to us from the dawn of the space age as Sputnik eclipsed the stratosphere and ignited a passion in a few kids and their town, despite a couple of dads being dicks all the time... Jake plays Homer, the key ingredient in a rocket group soup and along with his friends they fight against tradition and black lung as they try to win a college scholarship to escape their hellscape of a town. This flick brought a modest return but found itself fondly nestled in the audience’s O-ring. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss wheezy towns and the welcome embrace of death while we set up our tripods and see if this flick fails to launch or makes us sputnik all over the place.

American Pie

In 1999 a strange thing happened—an unknown writer and two unknown directors decided to make an R-rated titty movie for teens and sexually repressed adult men who didn’t get laid in high school, and it fucking worked! It also spawned a movie franchise with a total of nine films and countless exposed nipples, and the rest is history! The story follows our hero Jim and his horny friends Kevin, Oz and Finch (aka Shit Break) who all make a pack to punch their V tickets before they graduate. It seems simple enough, and trust me…it is. Each has a plan or scheme to accomplish this goal, but the only problem is they run into a lot of problems. Meanwhile, Shannon Elizabeth decides to get naked in Jim’s bedroom and read porn mags on his bed cause that’s what hot foreign exchange students like to do. Prom night comes, and each character’s journey leads them to surprising revolutions, including Jim, who gets raped by Michelle, the aggressive flute player who never shuts up about band camp…but does it Hold Up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss summer mega-blockbuster to see if it still gives them the giggle boners OR just awkward silence and limp dicks.

Kill Bill Volume 2

In 2004, Quentin Tarantino concluded Beatrix Kiddo's revenge saga as she works to complete her journey to the showdown with the deadliest snake-charming hippy ever in Kill Bill Volume 2. KB2 has a wild cast, with Uma Thurman as the Bride, David Carradine as the Bill to be Killed, Michael Madsen as Bill's brother Budd, Daryl Hannah as one-eyed Elle, Gordon Liu as the man who eats Pies in May, Michael Parks as a Latino baby daddy, and a host of other familiar faces. Made for $30M, Kill Bill 2 brought back $150M in the box office and was pretty well received at the time of release. But does it hold up? Listen as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss censoring names, the best locations for assholes, and bad-guy monologues as we figure out if this one deserves to die after taking five steps or if cold revenge dishes go down as smoothly as Hattori Hanzo steel.

Enemy at the Gates

Hold onto your butts, folks, because on the latest episode of Hold Up, Jon, Colin, and Brent are locked, loaded, and ready to tackle the cinematic masterpiece known as "Enemy at the Gates." Is it a timeless war epic or a relic gathering more dust than grandma's strap-on collection? Well, strap in for a wild ride as these three self-proclaimed film aficionados take their shots at dissecting this flick.

Picture this: Jon unleashes his witty banter like a sharpshooter aiming for your funny bone. Colin chimes in with his intellectual musings, making you question your own IQ and the sanity of the characters in the film. And then there's Brent, the wildcard of the group, who drops one-liners like grenades, leaving you chuckling and questioning if you've accidentally stumbled into a stand-up comedy routine.

With their trademark sarcasm, the hosts hilariously pick apart every minute detail, from Jude Law's impeccable mustache to the heart-thumping sniper scenes that keep you on the edge of your seat, assuming your seat has a seatbelt. It's a verbal battlefield where no punchline is off-limits, no historical inaccuracy is spared, and no overacting performance is safe.

But does it hold up? That, my friends, is a secret as well-guarded as the enemy's snipers in the movie itself. You'll have to listen in to find out if this war flick holds up like a sturdy barricade or crumbles like a poorly constructed sandbag.

So, grab your popcorn, lock and load your sense of humour, and join Jon, Colin, and Brent as they wage a comedic war of words on "Enemy at the Gates." It's a podcast episode that will have you laughing, questioning your taste in movies, and possibly considering a career change to stand-up comedy. Hold Up: Because even in the midst of war, there's always room for laughter.

The Bridge On The River Kwai

Today we are going waaaaaay back in time to 1957 as we go for a long walk on a short bridge with David Lean’s, The Bridge on the River Kwai. This is a World War 2 epic about a bunch of POW’s that are captured in a dense jungle prison camp and are at odds with the camp general who has been tasked with having them build a railroad over the aforementioned bridge, over a river called “Kwai”. But why? Supplies! Anywho, this has the guy that played Obi-Wan, so that’s cool. Oh, also, it was the top-grossing film and was nominated for a smack load of awards and won most of those. Nice. But, does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent discuss camp crushes and tantric seppuku as we try to figure out if this bridge was built to last, or if it is just MADNESS!

300 (2006)

In 2007 Zack Snyder took the grand challenge of converting a beloved graphic novel into a film. He immediately crammed as many hot dudes as he could find into a gym and began work on his historical action adaptation, 300. Starring the chinniest man of them all, Gerard Butler, as the Spartan king Leonidas who will disobey the council and take 300 of his best soldiers to a doomed battle against the evil Xerxes and his overactive glands. This flick took the world by storm when it came out because of its graphic style and innovative art design, evidenced by the fact it made almost half a billion sexy abdominal-filled dollars. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate Spartans going commando and the best way to spear a man as we do our best to figure out if this flick made history, or needs to be discarded. 

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Did you know San Diego means whale vagina in German? Good morning, San Diego, and welcome to the Hold Up Podcast, I’m Tits McGee, and today we’ll be going over Adam McKay’s 2004 guffaw-inducing, Anchorman. This flick is responsible for more requoted lines than any other movie (source needed) and cemented Will Ferrell’s place in the comedy Hall of Fame. Starring some famous faces earlier in their career, Anchorman is joined by Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Steve Carrell, the beautiful Christina Applegate, and a ton of other talented actors that you’d know if you saw them. Anywho, this flick brought in a whale’s vagina full of money and was an instant comedy classic, but the question remains; does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate the only rule of news fight club and what Bigfoot's dick smells like as we try to figure out if Anchorman is still 1st in the ratings or if it’s a used diaper filled with Indian food.

Stranger Than Fiction

Marc Forster went for an ambitious trip down a fantastical dramedy avenue when he brought us his 2006 feature, Stranger Than Fiction. Showing Will Ferrell in a more sincere role than he’s typically known for, Stranger Than Fiction brings us into the world of the writer as God; toiling with their creations until somehow one becomes aware of their puppet strings and must find a reason behind them or risk seeing his early demise. This film has a great supporting cast, featuring Maggie Gyllenhaal, Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson, and Queen Latifah and was received very well, although not bringing home a massive payday. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent debate poetic deaths and mundane existence as we try to determine if this flick should save Harold Crick or if we should kick the writer in the dick.

Old School

Today we’re going old school with Todd Phillips' 2003 comedy hit, Old School. Luke Wilson stars as a loveable bachelor who finds his wife banging a ton of people and, as a result, finds himself learning how to live again. Fortunately, he has friends who help him get back under his feet by starting a frat full of mismatched outcasts. This flick modernized the old frat tropes, bringing a budding cast of comedy superstars and becoming an instant classic. But does it hold up? Listen in as Jon, Colin, and Brent go streaking through the quad while we debate orgy etiquette as we try to see if this is the one that got old or took us to school.